back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found
okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms.
one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days
i think you may be a bit retarded because no tears meant like no tears in your hair; no tangles….
Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought no tears as in crying too
MY LIFE IS A LIE
Reason #1 to dislike the English language
so I bought my mom this cup with a hot dude having coffee because my mom is fun and i thought this might like her.
BUT THEN I SERVE MYSELF COFFEE IN IT AND TURNS OUT THAT WHEN THE CUP GETS HOT
THE DUDE LOSES HIS PANTS AND THAT’S COFFEE AND PORN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF SORCERY THIS IS!
there’s this commercial on tv now for supernatural and they’re basically like “The Winchester brothers are back for more mysterious and dangerous adventures” and then
they fucking show this clip
and I just can’t even imagine what people that don’t watch supernatural will think of this show
oh my god i’m laughing cause i was watching lazarus rising and everyone was like omg what raised you from hell and ruby was like when this thing bleeds the earth quakes and another demon was like it’s the end of times but it turned out just to be this little cutie